Solitude

There is something about bodybuilding (and I use the general term "bodybuilding" in place of figure, physique, fitness..) that is different than every other sport. Being alone. Every single day is a struggle with yourself... the emptiness in your stomach from the diet, pushing yourself through the last 10 minutes of a 2 hour workout.. no coaches, no teammates, no partners, saying no to staying out late with friends when you have to get up for an early session, choosing the dry chicken and broccoli when everyone else gets potatoes and chicken fried steak, talking yourself through the mind fog, posing, getting show plans made... all by yourself. Yes, team sports are hard. Yes, they work hard. Yes, they go through the pain, sweat and tears too. But they have others there to cheer them on, they have coaches to push them, they have the responsibility of showing up to practice or they have to suffer the consequences. Most of all, they get to eat. If you've never done it, eat 3oz of tuna and 10 almonds before your workout, do 1 hour lift, 1 hour cardio then eat 4 oz chicken and a plate of asparagus... feels awesome huh? NOT!

Back to the subject, why is bodybuilding so lonely? Does it have to be this way? Even if you have a significant other, they don't understand either. Hopefully they'll support what you are trying to accomplish and maybe help push you through it but most of the time either they think you're crazy and let you know it or they think you're crazy and just sit back until the insanity is over. Friends are the same. No matter how much they understand, they're still going to eat that brownie and pizza in front of you and not realize how much inner struggle you're going through while they sit there and enjoy it.

I like to think I'm a really strong person and that I can get through most anything. Today, my lift was good and I felt ok. When I got to cardio I had to psyche myself up a bit. Halfway through, I wanted more than anything to stop. Sweat was pouring, my calves were cramping and I could literally feel that there was no more glucose left in my body. Somehow I made it through, but it would have been nice to have others there to go through the pain with me!

Well, it's time to start homework.

124 days